The Adventure Begins

And it's been on helluva a ride already

Traveling with kids is not for the faint of heart. I should know, we’ve been doing it for almost a decade ever since our first child was born. My husband Sebastian and I were both avid travelers before becoming parents and feel a deep commitment to instilling this as one of our core family values. We pride ourselves on seeking adventures around the world and intentionally carving out a month every year to explore a new country, to “world school” our kids and give them a real sense of life outside of America. Even though it’s not a vacation by any means, we find these annual trips to be incredibly bonding and memorable for our family.

This year we decided to return to Sebastian’s homeland, great Mother India. The last time we visited was 2019, pre-covid and two less kids. We had been staying “local” the past few years, picking Central and South American countries within a five or six hour flight and the same time zone. Warm weather, beach and short flights were the priority. But this year, we wanted to change it up. We felt called to do something big, something epic, especially since this month marks ten years of our family business, Spark.

We kicked around the idea of Sri Lanka, Panama and Argentina. Should we do Spain, Portugal or maybe Morocco? But when we threw India out on the table, we both got the hit of YES. It’s time. After we left in 2019 we made loose plans to return in 2022 but then the world changed and we continually felt that it wasn’t aligned. India is no joke and you have to be ready for the assault on your senses and psyche it demands. You have to be prepared for the undertaking.

As we stewed over it, the thought of visiting the birthplace of my husband with our family of five, to connect the kids with part of their roots, to immerse them in their ancestry, to gift them an imprint of the sights, smells and colors, it was an immediate and resonating, clear as day feeling. India is calling so we better listen. This would be my fourth time coming but that first initial trip way back in 2009 when we were just dating changed my life forever and for the better. My worldview exploded and my perspective on life changed drastically. I wanted that for my kids but I didn’t want them to experience it as an adult like I did. I wanted this to be a piece of their childhood now.

And so the work began.

Leading up to any big trip with children is always daunting but this year took it to another level. For one, we have been working so hard to wrap up work, completing 18 weeks of forest school, holding women’s circles and a drum birthing ceremony and making sure Spark NYC semester is off to a great start. Ever since the new year started, we took a “head in the sand” kind of focus reaching this point. Packing, cleaning and shedding became intertwined with the never ending tasks already required to run a household. On top of that, we decided it would be a good time to redo our century old floors in our barn. It’s been a high desire of ours for a while now but we didn’t want to be around for the inevitable noise, mess, dust and fumes. This felt like a perfect opportunity to knock this large job off our to-do list. Except we were responsible for clearing the entire floor of all furniture, rugs, toys - literally everything had to be moved. I was apprehensive at best, terrified at worst and requested to outsource the job to someone else. Could the floor guy do it? Could we hire someone? I mean, are we really going to try and clear over a thousand square feet of our main living space before leaving for an entire month? Why, yes we are.

Sometimes I hate being overly ambitious.

Luckily, we had a few neighbors help but little could be done ahead of time. We needed access to the kitchen and the space to be functional for our family until we left. So it was major crunch time the few hours on Saturday morning before we set out to drive to the airport. Last minute packing, running a few errands, cleaning out the fridge, folding loads of laundry and THEN, stashing our desk next to kitchen cabinets and wedging our massively heavy couches next to our dining table. Multiple trips up and down the steps to put away cushions, baskets of toys, shoe racks and play mats. Clear now, worry later was the mantra even though my organized Virgo self felt a sense of shock and horror at the mess of things. Gathering all of our plants and lining them up against the sliding door, picking up legos that have fallen and found a new home under the radiators, removing any trace of our life felt endless and added an intense level of stress that I could have done without.

I know it will be worth it but really, will it?

On top of that, my middle child spiked a fever a couple days before and was low energy and lethargic. Just as he was starting to turn a corner, my baby also developed a fever and a runny nose that ran like a faucet affecting her already terrible sleep. All she wanted to do was be held which made it nearly impossible to get anything done. She would scream bloody murder if not in one of our arms. So my husband and I had to take turns holding her while the other tried to tackle the multitude of tasks. It was infuriating and frustrating and I couldn’t help but wonder if this was sort of an initiation into the trip. Let’s also add in a scandalous affair with two parents in our small, tight knit community (not my story to tell but damn, what a story!) that consumed a ton of my time, energy and attention to collectively process. Yes, you read that right and yes, I was largely shocked and distracted by it and caused a bit of an existential crisis within my own heart leaving me with little to no emotional bandwidth.

I can honestly say leaving for this trip felt like hell.

Why was I being tested to this degree before even getting there? Who wants to travel with sick, sniffly kids? Should we just cancel the entire trip and stay home? I really did consider.

I knew the energy had to change so I popped over to the Red Rose Temple, made a land offering, held an emergency family circle, boosted my kids’ immunity with tonics, tinctures and teas and prayed. Prayed for ease, for expanded capacity, for patience. Let it be smooth, please God, let it be easy. This too shall pass, right? Sixteen hours of flying time, over 24 hours of travel, crossing oceans and continents and shifting timelines, please let this part be the hardest. Because truly, how can it get any worse? I feel on the verge of a mental breakdown and we haven’t even left yet.

But we did it. 12 hours to Abu Dhabi, followed by a quick lay-over and then another 4 hours to Kerala and we are HERE. Walking out of the airport into that steamy, hot air, thick with smoke and incense, spice and sweat, it’s the most welcoming and jarring of greetings. Oh, how I’ve missed this place and how excited I am to have my children soak it all in. Connect with part of your origin, children, this will shape you for the better.

We arrived at Sebastian’s grandmother Ammachi’s house at 4am this morning. Pulling up to the ornate black and gold gates and walking the small slope to the welcoming and familiar white house felt like a dream. Did we really make it? Are we really here? Being greeted by my in-laws and favorite aunties, remembering all the smaller details of this beloved house my memory forgotten and feeling that deep sense of home made the immense effort so worth it. I finally was able to exhale.

That’s the thing about travel. You never know what’s going to unfold. What challenges will arise, where you may be pushed to the limit, where you’re blindsided by the beauty or the intensity, what triggers get activated, what gifts lie in the discomfort. The great vast unknown, the wide open space of being outside your comfort zone. Remember, not for the faint of heart. One of my big intentions for this trip is to rest and recharge especially since coming to a place where there is actual family support. Maybe the difficulties of the past few days were just the last leg of feeling overworked, overextended and in desperate need of a break. It remains to be seen.

Either way, we are here and I am open. There is no coming to a place like India and returning the same way. Having spent the day just hanging at Ammachi’s house, acclimating to the new timezone, processing the journey, eating fried fish and rice with my hands, enjoying the sweet coffee in a little paper cup, napping under the clanking fan with the most delicious breeze and doing a whole lot of nothing.

It feels like the perfect first day.